Thursday, October 30, 2014
It's basically a gift to live, laugh and love even more.
Few days ago, I started becoming anxious as the number of days drew near to my natal day. It's no way similar than the past birthdays. This time I'm going beyond my silver years. hahaha! Yeah, let's term it as that, so it would somehow sound gracefully growing. :)
25 years have passed and where am I right now? I don't know if I'm exactly the person God wants me to be. Jer 29:11. I hold on to that and with that I keep faith that I am becoming that very person.
It took me 9 long months to get over my depression. Yes, that happened to me. I never thought it will. And the scars on my face, remind me that. :) But as I look at the mirror now, I see a much bolder, much fiercer and much stronger person than I was before that 9-month journey.
Noone really knew my story. Of course my family does and Carlo and myself and God. But noone knows the entire me. Even I don't know myself for real. 'Cause sometimes when we wear masks, we become the person we try to be with that mask. We just camouflage, then we become one with it.
I thank the Lord for this; well, for this blog including. For the life ahead of me. For the life that was, and for the life that is. I haven't completely blossomed into one successful executive or a powerful missionary or whatever but I am me. I am. I think therefore I am. (wala panggulo lang hehe)
More or less 10 days from now, I'll get a year older. And yes, I'm no longer afraid. I accept what lies ahead, what goes beyond my 25 years of existence. I accept the challenges that go along the way, the responsibilities that come with it. I accept my mission, not only as an employee but as Christ's warrior.
I've been so much blessed with a lot of things I never really thought of seeking. And each time a prayer of mine is granted, I tell the Lord, 'tapusin ko lang muna 'to, then I'll serve you'. But life is never-ending. It goes forth and sometimes even back. I cannot tell God I'll secure my life first before helping another because life is a party. Yes, a party. :)
You dance to the beat, jump on your feet, grab a couple of drinks, kisses with friends and the next day it will be another kind of party. So now, I choose to gracefully grow and accept my mission, to bring other people close to God. No, I'm not entering the convent. Well, I got the goosebumps a bit last year when I had a retreat with friends and the place was ran by nuns. But I thought to myself, nuns/priests/prayer warriors/dedicated missionaries, etc, they have their own missions and as for me, I believe it is my mission to reach out first people who I live with, my family, my wu bei and his family, relatives, friends, acquaintances. And when I am ready, I'll help change the world.
Because I am blessed, I am blessing the world. - Bo Sanchez
I know the title of this doesn't really coincide with the entire thing I wrote here but I want that as my title so let it be. :p